


hardwired to be with you

by seraphicbane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3B Trailer Thoughts, Angst, Both Alec Lightwood And Magnus Bane Deserve Good Things, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 10:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17620652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphicbane/pseuds/seraphicbane
Summary: after magnus gets taken to edom, alec fights tooth and nail to get him back. when he eventually does, he realizes he was once painfully right in saying that he can't live without magnus.(a.k.a an angsty but ultimately fluffy proposal because i'm a weak sap (˶◕‿◕˶✿))





	hardwired to be with you

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song feels like this by maisie peters... feel free to tell me it isn't malec's song

Alec is all too aware that the world outside these walls remains in a state of complete chaos, but when he looks over at Magnus walking in through the door of their loft, he can’t help but feel relieved. Maybe it’s an immoral thing to feel in the midst of the pandemonium, but the most important part of his world is still there, still beside him and that’s enough for him.

Well, it’s almost enough.

The events of the last few days force themselves into his thoughts, painfully vivid images of things he wishes he could erase from existence entirely flashing in front of his eyes. Magnus still holding onto his hand as he loses consciousness even in the healing hands of Catarina. Crying until the simple act of breathing feels like knives puncturing his lungs. Blinding fury setting every last one of his nerve endings on fire. Being nearly paralyzed by fear.

Alec shakes his head and takes a shuddering breath, his feet barely carrying him over to Magnus where he’s standing in front of the living room window, his back turned to the room illuminated by sunshine. Considering everything they have just been through, the presence of the warmth of the light feels very out of place.

Even now, standing there next to him, Alec’s afraid to reach out, to touch Magnus, because he fears that maybe he’s really just dreaming and he’ll wake up to a reality where Magnus is irrevocably gone if he makes one wrong move.

Eventually the silence becomes suffocating and he has to speak, has to bite the bullet.

“I was so terrified,” He barely manages to say, every muscle in his throat fighting against the release of those words. “I was so sure I’d lost you.”

Magnus turns to look at him and Alec almost wishes he hadn't, wishes he had never spoken, because the look on his face is heartbreaking. _He_ is heartbroken. Even after being hurt himself, he's still more hurt over causing Alec pain.

"But I didn't," He says quickly in an attempt to stop Magnus from blaming himself - a heart-rending habit of his. "You're here, that's all that matters."

Magnus exhales, the tension leaving his shoulders, but the troubled look not quite leaving his face. Alec desperately searches for words to comfort him, but nothing feels quite right. Eventually he reaches for Magnus’ hand, gently linking their fingers. He doesn’t flinch like Alec had feared he would, but instead turns to look at him, the look in his eyes almost painfully soft and trusting.

That is when it hits him, a sudden realization of what he has to do. After everything, nothing else is enough to convey the unequivocal love he feels for the man he now knows to be the love of his life. Nothing else feels as right. So despite cuts and sprains he acquired during the mission, making it painful to move at all, Alec slowly settles down on one knee.

Magnus lets out a soft gasp and when Alec looks up, he can clearly make out the tears glistening in his eyes.

“What are you doing?” Magnus asks, but it’s barely even a whisper, the words getting halfway stuck somewhere in his throat.

Alec swallows hard, truly having to fight to keep his own tears at bay.

“I meant it when I told you I thought I couldn’t live without you, but now I know I can’t,” He holds onto Magnus’ hand like it’s the very last thing on earth that he can put his trust into without fear, as if his survival depends on it, which in a way it does.

“I can’t be without you, not ever again,” He shakes his head almost involuntarily, like every nerve in his body has learned to reject the idea of not being next to Magnus’.

“Alexander..."

“Marry me, please?” Alec breathes out, and it’s a plea more than anything, so filled with emotion it almost physically hurts. “I know forever isn’t guaranteed for anyone but the promise of forever with you is more than enough.”

Alec has solemnly professed his love for Magnus countless of times, but he’s never sounded more doubtless than he does when he says those words. In that moment Magnus feels so hopelessly gone for the man in front of him that it would take him forever just to unlearn what it feels like to be loved so deeply that it makes the oceans weep with envy.

“You don’t even have a ring,” Magnus tries to point out lightheartedly, but the tears trailing down his cheeks betray his façade.

“I’ll get you one, I promise,” Alec replies with a teary smile of his own, suddenly becoming very aware of the coolness of the rings on Magnus’ fingers against his skin. He'd held Magnus' hands so many times before and always quietly hoped that one day one of the rings on his fingers would be dedicated to their love and now one would be. The very mundane detail suddenly feels almost overwhelmingly monumental.

Magnus slowly kneels down in front of Alec and squeezes his hand like he's trying to make sure that he's real, that he isn't making this all up in his head.

“I can’t believe you,” He exhales, shaking his head in sheer disbelief. He lets go of Alec’s hand to cup his face and when he looks into his glistening hazel eyes, the rest of the world becomes insignificant. In that very moment nothing matters but the way he feels like he has everything he needs at his fingertips.

“Of course I will marry you,” Magnus finally whispers, a string of affirming nods accompanying the words. “How could I not marry you?”

Alec doesn’t answer the question but he grabs Magnus by the waist and gently pulls him closer to kiss him. Both of their faces are wet from tears and they end up smiling so much that ultimately it's hardly even a kiss, but somehow it's perfect.

Much like somehow it's okay that he didn't get to plan this, that he never asked Izzy for advice on how to propose or that he never inquired about Magnus' ring size so many times that he grew suspicious.

Somehow, against all odds, it is okay.

They pull apart and rest their foreheads together, reveling in the moment they had thought they would never get to have, holding onto each other like they're all that exists, like they don't still have endless struggles to face and problems to solve.

It is all far from perfect, but it's enough because Magnus is there, the promise of forever still hanging in the air between them.

_It's more than enough, because they have forever._


End file.
